She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
