'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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