The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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