you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
