i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
