It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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