There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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