do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
