kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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