I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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