Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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