I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thus making me awesome and them whores
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
