He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
