She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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