Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
