return my video game
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
