Dual....:-)
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
