i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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