She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
