And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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