"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
