She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
