When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize