The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was like eating out sand paper
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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