I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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