Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
