hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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