I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
