If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
