were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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