is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize