Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
