I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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