Pappa wants mamma naked
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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