that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
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