he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
