if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
