You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
