My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
