I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
