Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
