i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just made my gag reflex go away.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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