she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
