here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
