My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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