5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
