They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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