is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
