I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we made out on top of his cat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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