Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
