If i come over, it means nothing
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
