Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's shark week go big or go home
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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