she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
foreskin is a definite game changer
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
