If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
