I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
