I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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