We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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