Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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