Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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