I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
