I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize