she was so not down for the gang bang
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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