If i come over, it means nothing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That accounts for only three of the penises
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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