So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
